30 Lessons i learned from my Father

Blessed are those who have a father who is quite ahead of time. We are all lucky to have amazing fathers – here i share some traits that made my father unique! Some immensely crucial character-building life lessons that he imparted through example.

To date, his junior colleagues call up on the old mobile number from time to time. They deeply cherish what they learned from him, and as his daughter, i couldn’t be prouder on the receiving end of the courtesies.

In this blog post, my intent is to share few things that could be helpful to anyone in their life or profession. Especially those who missed out learning from their fathers in their growing years… Should we not talk to them more often? 🙂

1. Best Mathematicians are the best Philosophers

It’s from Dad i learned the art of thinking. His aim was to help me “learn how to learn”. We would discuss the lives of various philosophers at length. The one thing that stood out was that most philosophers were also great at Mathematics. Mostly polymaths so to say, but maths help people think with more clarity. My father himself a sentimental person, but had amazing clarity of thought. Extreme commitment to purpose. He excelled at mathematics in school and in engineering.

A fan of “logic”, always received top marks in his batch. “Humanities” are equally important for “tech” grads as well, he’d say. He could simplify complex ideas with ease and calculate mentally at godspeed. Hailing from the era of slide rules and abacus, he depended very little on calculators to perform arithmetic operations. Regular practice of maths even during his profession helped him stay sharp. It also contributed to developing foresight. Deep thinking also makes one more philosophical, he’s say…

Friends and family valued his inputs as he gave unbiased opinion on things. He had the experience, knowledge and facts to back his opinion because he took out the time to learn things even outside of his domain. In his absence, what i miss most is the philosophical depth in conversations i can’t replicate with other people. When in doubt over something, i just go back to what Papa would think about it…

2. Encouraged Critical Thinking

His approach towards learning was never rote based. As a father, he’d sit with me mainly to see HOW i learned. On what i learned, he placed complete faith in me – computers on my own, GK, Olympiad preps. He only made sure he’d do a rain-check on whether i grasped “concepts” well. This fueled my “love for learning”. To this day, i can learn new concepts with ease and when needed. Programming in Python, machine learning, complex investment models, all thanks to his efforts towards inculcating a timeless habit of learning. And i seek knowledge from independent sources to learn from the best, much like how he’d want. He had what one may call “scientific temper”, delving into spontaneous discussions on technology.

From a young age, i’d dwell on ideas in an introspective manner and come up with my own reasoning. Much of what would be taught in class, must be read in advance. I’d derive mathematical formulas on my own, through sheer logic. Independent thinking, critical thinking was what he advocated, and as a less rule-bound person i liked that approach to learning for the sake of learning… Now i try doing the same with my child. “Tark” and logic he would use interchangeably to put forth concepts.

3. A Hindu in Principle and not just in Procedure

One may choose to have a different view on this. Papa had a very extensive knowledge of all scriptures. Not confined merely to rituals and customs. But applying the ideas to make life better. He would quote stories from epics at relevant instances. He would converse about nuances of religion with his own father as well. Timeless ideas gained through conceptual understanding of the message that religious books had to offer. He would encourage me to decode the significance of any tradition or custom – why did they originate in the first place and how some of the rituals were intertwined with nature. He wasn’t afraid to question in a respectful way or reason through his own introspection. He had reverence for all religions and encouraged me to imbibe their good teachings. To be open-minded about every culture and learn what they do best. I was lucky indeed to have a “multi-cultural” understanding of life seen through his lens.

He had an excellent command over Sanskrit language. Daresay, he could give anyone a run with his accuracy, precision and eloquence at chants and shlokas. To hear him chant Durga Saptashati or Sunderkaand would send shivers to the listeners. Even the Pandits who would perform Puja at our home would be avowed by the manner in which Papa recited mantras and shlokas, his coarse but soft voice reverberating through the house. “Positive vibrations” is what they meant, he’d say often. Navratri being a time i miss his chanting the most.

4. Ray Kurzweil of the Family

He was quite active even as a 70+ years old. Aware of health issues through readings of various sources and very keen on monitoring vitals. Not surprisingly, he had learned the proper generic medicines and their compositions. Buying medicines was rather easy for him. Through his own travails and trials, he had worked out the best health regimen for relatives, acquaintances and friends. He always made sure the next person he comes in contact with has all the knowledge he needed.

Any given day, he and my mother would go for walks, do yoga. Was extremely healthy and active for his age. Had it not been for cancer, he would have been in his prime. My dad and mom played fairly decent badminton with me till the age of 59 & 53 respectively. We had a 45 year age gap, considering he could have been my grandfather in a parallel universe!

Papa recorded in a handbook all of his medicines he ever took. Knowledge had to be shareable at the least. When visiting a new doctor, I helped him tabulate his findings, which also served as a ready reckoner every time an acquaintance needed information on medicines, doctors, hospitals. He had excellent memory and could drive easily beyond the age of 70. Almonds, walnuts and green tea were his go to health foods. I’d discuss with him most enthusiastically how i’d find joy in eating authentic Norwegian salmon fish while living in Munich.

5. Never the one to waste Resources

He insisted on taking light meals. Though always willing to source finest ingredient for visitors even at a short notice, he ate light when it came to portions. Never saw him overeat or take up more than he could consume. Would never waste a morsel of food. Never complain or pass a critical remark about the (bad) taste or throw away what he didn’t like. Said it showed respect for the one who had cooked with effort and love. He was quite a prolific cook himself too.

Excellent at recycling old things. Repurposing electrical accessories, repairing machines and equipment himself. He had a quality of preserving about him. Despite having cars and staff at his disposal, whenever he’d visit a new place, he believed in exploring things first hand through walks.

6. Life Skills and Gender-Neutral Upbringing

Despite his outstation postings when i was growing up, he would allocate time to help me learn what was necessary in his opinion. Yes, he would defy norms to teach me what i should know. Sometimes ahead of age, because you never know, an emergency may arise! And then i’d justify his stance saying Akbar became emperor at 14, didn’t he?? So here i was, getting my hands dirty putting jacks under axles and lifting car tyres. He taught me to drive only after i was sufficiently deft at changing a flat tyre. He also took out a loan to buy me a Pentium 3 desktop. Never the one to indulge me, he only saw my natural progression at learning to code at a young age through my performance in school. Never did he tell me “you are a girl and you can’t do this” – do what’s necessary he’d rather say!

7. Anger Management

Because he got angry so seldom, i’d often wonder what would it take for dad to get angry at something! In the words of Mario Puzo, he was the archetype of “a man of reason”. Never opting to hit below the belt or mock anyone. He would “discuss” things reasonably, respecting everyone’s viewpoints. Whether they knew less or more than him, did not come in the way of gaining fresh insights into a contentious matter.

But what did it take to spark an outrage in Papa? I couldn’t witness it ever. At one instance while i was tucked away in the rear seat as a 4 year old, a cyclist with failed brakes hit our car from the rear, bounced off, and hit the rear windshield. Luckily the Maruti glass “cracked but not shattered” in to me (Grade 7 Chemistry Class, any one?). But the cyclist injured his wrist on the impact.

Dad gave a quick glance to make sure i was safe. Stopping the car, dad got out hurriedly. I wondered if he would hit him, like most people do out of “road rage”. Before the cyclist could run away, dad grabbed his wrist. He then rushed him across the road to a clinic that was located right there. He got him a tetanus injection for the cuts. All in a matter of 5 minutes. The look on the cyclist’s face was priceless – remorse, relief, gratitude. The matter could have escalated, but despite the damage to his dear car, dad first got aid for the injured. No fuss, no hungama; no panic, no drama.

Even in the face of personal crisis, he first attended to the needs of others. That he was the person who caused the harm was immaterial for his priority. That’s when it dawned on me what a fine, kind gentleman my father was!

I could never see an angry parent. Papa never hit me. I’d often hear him say: “Someone hitting their child is a failure on the person’s part rather than the child”. ‌Due to this I had great respect for him. If father got upset, I’d immediately summon my introspective abilities to see where I went wrong? After all, what did I do that my dad is upset? I must never do that again! The proverbial “chappal” was never thrown at me by my parents. Papa’s regulated temperament was instrumental in setting a happy, loving home atmosphere.

8. Promoting Dialogue and building Consensus

Yes, he had the ability to approach difficult conversations with respect. To resolve issues with “difficult” people or entities. He was also a man of great courage. During one of his “risky” postings, he interacted fearlessly with armed visitors. They were apparently “naxals” in a remote area. But before their informed visit, rather than beefing up security, my father requested security personnel to leave! So impressed were the naxals by his integrity and welcoming approach towards hearing them out, they became allies in his work that they were previously blocking. He made them realize what they’d miss out on.

Papa was also quite good at the balancing act. He could put forth new ideas to his seniors. He was respected for his work ethics and honesty. He was trusted for his foresight. His thought process was fast, and believed in quick decision making with clarity. Not the one to be a “yes man” always, but to have everyone in agreement. From the linemen to the Chairman, everyone respected him and had faith in his approach.

9. Problem Solving Attitude – Techno + Managerial expertise

Being from the era of heavy industries and when engineers actually studied engineering, papa was adept at using technology. We together believed technology is a tool to make tasks easier, and not an end goal in itself. He had sound knowledge of all related STEM subjects. But he was also humble when it came to “hands-on” problem solving: From stitching up a net to turning around entire departments… He had a knack for knowing what works. And how to align people to get things done.

Papa was responsible for the turnaround of the low-voltage situation in Hazaribagh while posted as in-charge of the district. He worked closely with Mr. Yashwant Sinha, then Finance Minister of India and resolved the issue which had been plaguing the city’s electric supply for years.

Challenges only get bigger as we get older. The only thing we can do is to expand our own capacity to deal with them! Family, work, society, everything gets complex as we grow older. Rather than being overwhelmed, just equip ourselves with the know how. Easier said than done, but dad could walk the talk.

10. Trust that inspires to go above and beyond!

Most important and unique trait. Papa never discouraged people, while being realistically aware of their potential. He’d inspire them in a way that they would be willing to go above and beyond. Even if just for the sake of upholding his faith. It was hard, really hard to disappoint someone like him. Just because he would place such thorough trust in the other person, they would do anything to not let him down. In my time, i have seen labourers, technicians, engineers, officers, rise above their potential under dad’s gentle and positive leadership.

He could never make fun of people’s height, complexion, weight. If he felt someone was overweight, he would simply tell them how they would benefit by losing weight. His approach taught me to not think of people based on their mere physicality or appearance. To develop an uncanny ability to directly connect with their inner self. I saw this remarkable ability in him.

11. Political Views

Papa was highly pragmatic in his political outlook. He judged leaders based on performance. As a government employee, he also carried out “election duties”. I guess people of his time were motivated towards serving society and were made that way. Even in a politically charged state, he didn’t sit on political movement or dharnas because ultimately work would suffer. His work ethics and protocol taught that respect the chair, regardless of who occupies it. Keep doing your duty.

It’s from him i learned that politics is temporary. Don’t let personal equations get affected due to ideology or political beliefs. Don’t let something temporary like the weather (or politics) ruin your long-standing relations with people who matter to you.

In a place like Bihar where caste-affiliations are a driving factor in almost everything, he had friends across all castes and religions. “Aadmi ko dekho, uske caste ko nahi”. This is what he’d tell people outright who tried to behave otherwise. He was a living example of how this could be done, and people obeyed him because he would walk the talk. How has it rubbed off on me? I try to stay politically neutral and aligned more towards good governance!

12. Putting others before self… “Sacrifice” was his middle name

In 1962, Papa gave up his seat at IIT Kharagpur and BARC to study closer home in BIT Sindri – back then it was a great institution. His family and father were dependent on him and my grandfather cried when my father was leaving for his college hostel in 1962. While in service, he took care of the education of his 2 brothers, and 1 cousin. He gave up small pleasures in life to save for the family. Got his 2 sisters married, built a new home for himself. Sometimes i wonder how much he could have flourished as a “technocrat” in a better organization, in a better place. But he did not let his innovative ability die down.

13. Honoring Lifelong Friendships

He had friends from school. And college, and villages and his office and the neighbourhood. Didn’t make friends based on how successful or “useful” people were to him. But rather based on the bond he shared with people. And once that bond is established, nothing in life would change the core of the friendship. He stood by his friends, their families, their extended families, much like he did for his own. To this date, if someone tells me they were dad’s friend, I’m willing to go out of the way to do anything for them.

Everyone’s loved Papa’s company because of his uplifting quality. Its like being in his mere presence was healing and comforting. His old friends still reach out to me and ask about my well being. at the age of 73, he had strong friendships that started at the age of 4. That’s nearly 70 years of knowing the same person and standing by them! He also had college friends from the year 1962, having known them for nearly 55 years. I am still in touch with them and their families.

14. Not having a Transactional Attitude

Yes, sometimes i do wish dad would ask the question “What’s in it for me?” before committing his time and resources to a multitude of people. He’d be so open to giving. Didn’t maintain a balance sheet of who did what for him. Would try and be as impartial as possible. Did whatever he could, going out of the way, but not once letting his work priorities or family responsibilities suffer in any way.

15. Love for Technology – Tech Savvy even in Old Age

Papa had a relentless thirst for learning. I taught him basics of computers when he was 60 years old. After that there was no looking back. Once he learned internet browsing from me, the sea of information was at his disposal! He was the first one to tell me and my husband, there’s a new payment app. He was the first to adopt digital payments in 2014. I found it hilarious when he told us about “Paytm” – i laughed and said, ATM i’ve heard of, but what’s Paytm??

He never used cash. Not even for my wedding payments! Again in a place like Bihar, where most marriages are treated like commercial transactions (more lavish = black money), he as an educated and hardworking person, paid everything for the ceremony in cheque. As technology evolved, he could use all the new apps with ease, early on. I still have his tabs open on the last smart phone Papa used…

Yes, he genuinely loved technology. Hence he chose to study electrical engineering. He gave up a better college to take up the branch of his choice. He could solve technical challenges and did footwork on substations even after graduating on to senior managerial positions. We had extensive discussions on how internet was still dependent on electricity. Being a climate change enthusiast from an early age, i’d convince him why renewable sources would be the future. He’d often lament on the fact that little was being done for scaling solar energy in the 1990s. I wish he were around to see how RE is getting bigger by the day!

16. Practiced Moderation

As a responsible father in a fairly modern time, he introduced me to drinking, saying “if you must, then drink the right drink in right season in right amount with the right food”. This allowed me to have a healthy relationship with food and drinks. Wasn’t faced with any compulsion to “hide” any drink outings from parents. However, I never drank in the presence of my dad or family elders as a mark of respect. With friends or alone, i followed the same principle of the 4Rs.

17. Gratitude – One could cherish small things in his presence

Since he had such a pleasant and positive disposition, even small things like going to the grocery, spotting something new, trying a different kind of tea, picking up packets of glue, were made a delightful experience by his “happy” approach towards everything. Sometimes I meet people who seem to make even small things like having a meal such a drudgery and struggle… It’s frustrating. That’s when I miss my dad the most!

He would express such abundant joy at all times, and in everything he did. His mere company made everything worthwhile and enjoyable for all. Filling up the car on summer vacations to take visiting relatives out around the city. Despite his seniority and responsibilities, he took out time to entertain guests and make their stay memorable!

18. In bad circumstances, you become better and not bitter!

His mom died when he was 2 months old. Raised by his grandmother mostly, who lived until 3 yrs after my parents’ marriage. As harsh it may sound, i got a feeling Papa’s step mom was a bit self absorbed and could be rather demanding, favoring her own children.

But Papa never complained. He only had good things to say about everyone. Filtering the toxicity to just be better himself everyday and treat people with the same love and respect. Despite 3 surgeries and blood pressure medications, he went about life as a “normal” healthy person would do. He had been knocked to fainting while playing cricket in college, and had injured his ear during a stone pelting mayhem, but he used the necessary medical aids to function well beyond these limitations. Never once complaining about the discomfort. But finding excitement in exploring latest technologies on the health-gadget front.

He was an “inherently” happy person. His powerful aura would easily emit an unparalleled positivity that would make other people feel better too. Later in life too, he always treated every difficult situation as an opportunity to learn something new. He responded from a space of happiness, not letting any negative experience traumatize him

19. Sharp perception and Presence of Mind

This one time Papa was caught in the midst of stone pelting on a bus he was travelling. Got severely injured. Managed to save himself by protecting his head with his tough briefcase. He got home bleeding profusely, glass shards stuck in places. But not a sign of pain on his face. Just went to the nearest physician and got first aid. Was at work the next day, while taking all precautions.

Another time we were some 8 people huddled in the car and a cousin caught her hand in the door. Papa saw it immediately through his peripheral vision and responded by reaching over n opening the door. Much before anyone could process it, he had spotted n solved the problem.

20. Ghar Banaana, Ghar Basaana

After successfully constructing his abode, designed by an expert Architect (IIT Kgp alumnus), Papa helped over 30 families build their homes. He would personally go and supervise construction. He would create time on weekends. Or during emergencies when a roof would fall due to bad planning by some untrained contractor.

I have no clue as to how he find the time to do this. The people whose homes he visited are still thankful for how much money his timely expert advice saved them.

Together with my mom, he was very active in setting matrimonial alliances and even helping with wedding arrangements. He had a way to connect people with people…

Later, i professionally took upon the purpose in life to build great buildings and homes for people. For the construction of our own home, Papa gave employment to his village brethren who lived on site and found other jobs post completion.

21. Work-Life Balance

On an average, if i recall well from my childhood, my father would be doing the first hand care for treatment of people from the extended family at least once every 6 months. People having terminal illnesses, getting incorrect medical advice elsewhere, would be going back hale and hearty post my father’s intervention and personal care and attention after their discharge. Together with my mom, he’d make arrangements for the ailing relative’s stay, along with my help with the day to day contingencies.

We always had a full-house for this reason. Yet Papa had trained me in a way it did not affect my studies and extra-curriculars (which were quite a many). I could focus on my academics despite a bustling home, and even contribute towards taking care of guests.

22. Encouraged kids to go beyond the last Gen

He wanted me to actively pursue hobbies and activities that suited the time and spirit i was born in and not what he “missed out on” while growing up! He genuinely felt i must have more freedom and opportunities in life than he did. One of the people from his time who thought ahead of time. He was keen on breaking “generational trauma”!

He’d often worry how i’d travel far and wide in his absence but i surprised everyone by travelling solo to more than 28 countries by the age of 28.

While my mom would pester me into taking classical singing lessons, i hated them because i was a less vocal person. Nonetheless i did them well and sang for 11 years with the harmonium in school and college. However, i was more into dancing and rhythms. My first introduction to percussions actually took place when i’d see papa tap his fingers on the wooden hand-rest of the sofa, while humming to his favorite classics. I began to play drums in college when i had the option.

I broke the norm and read The Godfather at the age of 14, sharing insightful lessons with him. We’d sit together for discussions on The Gita with equal ease.

Having been a technocrat himself, but more inclined towards architecture as a hobby, Papa would discuss with me how housing was a critical are for the country and should i choose to be an architect, i must focus on housing. I honored his wish, studied well, and secured a Gold Medal too. We’d have extensive discussions on why an economically backward state like Bihar needed to “generate” capital through businesses. Entrepreneurial spirit in me was sparked when we would do these discussions around building business. I honored his wish again by founding a venture that was recognized by Startup India.

23. Importance to Academics

Awarded for best performance in school by Dr. Rajendra Prasad, the first President of India. Who was also an alumnus of his school. Had merit scholarship from the government for his complete academic life in the district school.

Got merit Scholarship by Tata Steel for 4 yrs in college. Although he studied in a government school in a small city, he did not limit his learning to what was available there. He would seek out knowledge from cousins living elsewhere, from magazines he subscribed to, journals, newsletters, and by interacting with people in academic circles. He was really quite ahead of his time and his thought process. His love for learning was not limited to his location – “a great artist can come from anywhere” as they say… And so can a Scholar!

“Learn from the best, get the right guidance when you need it, but don’t depend on the teacher, rather surprise them with your dedication and initiative!” This made learning a lifelong joy for me.

Papa was extremely fond of his college years. We’d get into arguments of who were the most popular bands of the time, the Beatles being his favorite. How the Beatles members had long hair back in those days and went about meditating through the Himalayas. How he and his friends would listen to original LPs on the gramophone in their hostels. How his professors (one of them Dr. Deshpande, who made an impact on his life). Stories of attending job interviews across the country. Getting cans of desi “ghee” from his friends’ families as gifts. Back in the day he’d say Engineers had a huge responsibility towards driving change in society through the adoption of technology. They were qualified “technocracts” having the skill and drive towards nation building. As most meritorious students were selected for engineering courses, they also had a responsibility to propagate the right value system and direction for the society. He came form an era when engineers’ diction, lifestyle choices, impeccable appearance and most of all, professional conduct had to reflect a high standard of thinking.

24. Exhorted Family to have a “broad” Outlook

Clearly, he was from Bihar, but not “of” Bihar. OR let’s say he wasn’t even “from” Bihar, since his recent ancestors hailed from Old Delhi, UP and Uttarakhand. They came to Bihar (then part of Bengal) for “work” reasons. Yes, this part of the country then had “immigration”, Kolkata being the capital of India. May be at some point of time my family could also boast of being part of the Mauryan administration, but that’s a community-specific job we used to perform.

Papa would encourage whoever he met in Bihar, to think beyond people’s caste and religion. To set them free of their social affiliations and focus more on their individuality. He kind of embodied the spirit of the founders of the USA. Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness were his mantras. Always allowing people the safe space to rediscover themselves. To redefine and reinvent their own selves, with acceptance. He even shared his birthday with the country, the 4th of July. As of July 2024, he’d have been 81 years old.

To have a global outlook and not be confined by rigid ideas or regressive thoughts of people around him. He practiced resistance without really being a rebel. And silently influence others around him to do the right thing when it came to treating people with respect.

25. Respect for All Languages and Cultures

This one off instance when we were travelling in Karnataka and mom deliberately laughed at a little boy who spoke something in Kannada. Dad corrected her immediately – never to make fun of anyone’s language. This was Mysore in the year 2000. While our tourist taxi was parked outside a temple, a young boy came to sell flowers and said a few words in his language. Somehow his tone made it sound like a word similar to a funny word in our language and my mom laughed. My dad was prompt in correcting then itself that what she did was wrong! One shouldn’t make fun of anyone’s language. I was 12 yrs old then. But learned the lesson by watching.

Early on in his career, Papa worked on Barauni Thermal Power Plant. This was a collaborative project with Yugoslavia and Bulgaria. There were several East German engineers on his team. The project was financed by USA. He worked with an “international” team in the heart of Bihar. Consequently, he had exposure to global trends in both civil and electrical engineering. He would also work with teams from Switzerland and France through companies that would help set up power infra in various states.

With my mother and father, i travelled to 15 states, 3 “Dhaams” and hosted as tenants families from 10 states in our home. My parents maintained our home almost like an institution. We are still connected to several of the families that lived in our home even for a year! As of 2018, we had 5 tenant families and a strong contingent of 12-member staff living for free in our premises.

26. Learned more from Younger People

“Flat hierarchy” existed in my family before it became mainstream. He gave prominence to ideas and talents, irrespective of age. He encouraged independent thought and ideas from youngsters. On all important family matters, He took advice from… me, and as many young people as possible. He empowered me to explore things beyond what he knew. And then paid utmost heed to my advice. (Expect for 1-2 occasions when he didn’t listen and when that didn’t end up well, i’m ridden with guilt for life). Made me take responsibility from a young age.

He’d interact with more and more younger people of the family and in his department. Never felt insecure learning from them. Rather the younger members felt valued and respected. It helped them grow into confident and responsible people.

27. Didn’t give in to Fear in Life

Took bold decisions without fear and backed his claims with stupendous performance. He was assigned difficult tasks in particular. Served in rural areas for first 15 years in the Electricity board. Sometimes we as family would have to bear the brunt… Hostile people would visit our home to threaten, etc. But he wouldn’t back down from tough decisions.

Or that one time he reprimanded a DTDC bus driver and conductor for rash driving. Most passengers were silent but Papa took a firm stand. Made the driver apologize and drive slower.

28. Keen Understanding of People

Their nature, their thought process. I learnt this quality from him and took this a step further in having a strong intuition about people, especially their endgame. It’s both a blessing and a curse. We would often discuss with excitement, whenever we came across what he would call a “genuine” person. There are few such people, he’d often say. I’d believe him obviously. And life thereafter gave few opportunities to prove this thumb rule wrong.

Wouldn’t be an under statement to say Papa was inherently charismatic. And extremely knowledgeable. Even a new person that would meet him for the first time would remember him.

29. Self-assessment and Introspection

Perhaps another one of his traits which causes me much thought overload. But I like to be introspective. Identify own mistakes, ponder over what I could have done better. It also helps me be self-aware. Rise above petty competition and to be a better version of myself with each passing day.

30. Made Difficult things look Easy

It was his positivity and easy-going approach, that on the surface, he made everything look effortless. But little did people know that only he could do things that way. It was easy to take him for granted because of how un-demanding he was. Always focusing on what he can do for others. That’s why it was the responsibility of people around him to not take advantage of him. He personified “resourcefulness”.

31. If he saw a Weakness, he would Mend it

If people came to him with problems, he would find ways to help them. If he saw glaring flaws in people, he would mend them and not attempt to take undue advantage. He would encourage people to even resolve issues within themselves. Be it sensitive matters, financial issues, confidential matters related to colleagues, problems related to land, people felt a sense of hope in sharing with him. He would do all the handholding and ensure an end-to-end resolution. He wouldn’t shy from enlisting help of others if necessary. Yet I never saw him suffer from “God Complex”. Helping others came naturally to him. It was simply who he was…

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Yes, there’s always more to tell about Papa – i could write a book. But this would sum it up for now. In 2017, i initiated a scholarship to honor his memory. The TU Munich team allowed me to select an Indian student from the Electrical Engineering faculty.

I am grateful for the “value system” he left behind for me. For a fact he wasn’t even notoriously rich. “Eashwar itna de ki mai bhi bhookhaa na rahu aur ghar se sant bhi bhuka na jaaye” is what he would often say. He was against the idea of relentless greed or “big money”. In the words of his friends, he is revered as a “non-commercial” person who didn’t give in to corrupt practices government officers of his time were frequently associated with. He would take a stand against anything that went against his strong moral fibre.

In principle, Papa never really took retirement. He was also invited by foreign companies to continue his technocratic stint in Australia and Switzerland. But he chose to stay close to his family as i was still in school when he superannuated. He concluded his 38 years of service in 2003 as the General Manager of Energy Accounts in BSEB. His work ethics are still honored by many who came in contact with him. As his daughter, i raise a toast to a life well lived, despite the challenges. Papa taught by example…